Professor Blackadder
by Comic Rocker
Summary: What if Edmund Blackadder was a teacher at Hogwarts and what if he was the new DADA Professor. This an a/u fic


As Harry, Ron and Hermione entered Professor Edmund Blackadder's classroom with the rest of the fifth years. Everyone's first thoughts were "What's this guy going to be like? Will he be a good teacher? Will we learn anything good for our OWLS"?

But for Ron his first hope was that Percy (who had been appointed assistant teacher much to the dismay and disgust of Fred, George, Ginny and Ron himself) wouldn't suck the fun out of the class but knowing Percy in Harry and Hermione's experience of the Weasleys this seemed to be very likely.

"This Blackadder bloke has a sort of Mad Eye Moody vibe about him". Ron commented when he, Hermione and Harry took their places. "If you mean that personality wise you are not far wrong" Hermione said. She seemed to be saying this more to herself more than Ron. "If he's anything like Lockhart I'd just as sooner curse my own arse than take this class for OWL". Harry snorted. He still had been unable to forget about Gilderoy Useless Fraud and Git Lockhart from some years earlier.

Hermione pretended she didn't hear that she was quite fond of Lockhart even if Ron and Harry would have much preferred him underneath the wheels of The Knight Bus.

Blackadder swept into the room he was a rather tall dark haired and dark humoured sort of fellow and didn't have any of the qualities Quirrell, Lupin or Lockhart had but maybe a tad element of Alastor Moody's attitude inside him. Percy Weasley entered into the class behind him and it seemed clear to everyone in the class that Blackadder didn't like Percy much which would be a great relief to Ron.

Blackadder then spoke his clipped deep sounding voice got everyone's attention.

"Right good morning class my name is Edmund Blackadder and I'm the new master of dark arts genocide" Blackadder announced in a very consending sounding sort of tone that would have done Snape proud. "Now play straight with me and you will find me to be a considerate teacher" Blackadder continued his clipped voice making Neville look halfway to shitting himself with fear.

"But cross me and you will soon discover that underneath this playful boyish exterior beats the heart of a ruthless sadistic maniac" Blackadder finished.

"I think we've found that out pretty quick" Ron whispered to Harry who nodded. Hermione didn't believe for one moment that Blackadder sounded boyish or playful at all.

Blackadder then made sure his voice cut the air in the room again. "Right we are going run a fast and efficient class here and I intend to do as little work as possible." He then turned to Percy with some contempt and said "My deputy Percy will explain. Ron groaned quietly while Percy stood to the front of the class and addressed the fifth years.

"Good afternoon class my name is Professor Percy Weasley". Seamus and Dean were close to laughing their heads off at the way Percy was holding himself. Percy hadn't noticed this and began his introduction which was very much the same to Blackadder's. "Now if you play fair by me you will find me a considerate teacher but if you cross me by jove" Percy finished with some much overdramatic energy it caused Blackadder to yell out "Just tell them the play duckface" he snapped. At the sound of duckface Harry and Ron roared with laughter followed by everyone in the class except Hermione.

Percy was hurt and wheeled on Blackadder and said "Professor not in front of the class" but Blackadder just gave a vague get on with it gesture. Percy explained how the classes were going to work and to the delight of the class apart from Hermione the difficult work were going to be held off till Friday but this wasn't too exciting for Blackadder who said simply "Let's just say Professor Weasley has time off for good behaviour" which prompted more laughter from Ron.

The End

I hope you like it I just couldn't resist writing a cheap crossover of harry Potter and Blackadder and I thought using Percy Weasley as Lord Percy Percy would be good for a laugh.


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